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Friday, 21 December 2007 |
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I was only offered one class to teach so I’m taking the quarter off and will probably be taking the following quarter off as well. Honestly, I’m wondering if I will go back to teaching. Some things have happened this quarter that are really swaying me away from coming back.
Some negative things that have happened are like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Before any of this negative stuff went down, I had already made my decision to take the time off. I will be out of town in February anyway and I won’t have child care for part of January, so the time off made sense.
But after I made my decision and I was walking out to my car, I just had that feeling. I would describe that feeling as the kind that starts out as butterflies in your stomach before it quickly dissipates. I felt like I had reached a turning point in my life. As I was walking away from the school, it really felt like I was really walking away from school. Now for the most part, I had gained almost everything that I wanted get out of teaching. I had helped some talented kids and I had brushed up on my skills.
Now I was at a point where I was realizing, I’m telling people how to do some things that I had not yet achieved in my own career. That’s a sobering thought that I was advising people on how to reach their dreams when I had yet to give a full-on honest shot at living my own dreams.
One thing I realize is that I can’t continue to be a facilitator for other people’s dreams anymore, either as a vendor for a client or as a teacher for a student. People who really deep down want their dreams to come true will make it happen regardless of who is involved. Sure there is luck and good fortune, but I’m entering my 40th year and I need to get off my ass.
It seems like all the classes I’ve taken recently, I’ve gotten the vibe that the instructor is annoyed that I haven’t taken action. It’s time for me to pull the trigger and stop talking about it.
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